The moment had finally arrived.
I had known it was coming for a long time.
I had made the doctor appointments, gone to the consultations, called the insurance company, and gotten everything prepared for this moment.
But now that it was here, I hesitated.
I reminded myself it was just a minor surgery. I told myself everything would be okay. And yet, when the medical team came into the room and said, “We’re ready.”
I wanted to shout, “But I’m not!”
Instead, I forced myself to step forward, lean over the bed, and give my daughter a kiss as I whispered, “You’re going to do great!”
And then I stepped back as they took her away.
I watched them roll her down the hallway while my heart leaped into my throat as I prayed, “God, please go with her! Be by her side when I cannot!”
It was a desperate plea to remind my heart of the truth I already know.
I didn’t have to ask Him to go with her.
Because He never left her side. Not for a moment.
“I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.”-Psalm 139:7-10 NLT
I had to leave her. I had to let them take her away. I had to walk into the dreaded waiting room.
That awful place where we realize the truth that we have no control.
“The only way God can show us He’s in control is to put us in situations we can’t control.”-Steven Furtick
We can pace back and forth. We can try to distract ourselves with our phones. But we can’t do anything to fix our situation.
We just have to wait.
Trusting that those highly educated strangers will take care of our precious children in ways that we can’t.
And yet, as a Christian there is one more thing I can do.
I can pray.
I have the comfort of knowing I can pray to the One person I know in that surgery room. As a believer, I have inside remote access. A wireless connection that never fails.
So even though my heart still ached. Even though I still kept an eye on the board notifying us of their progress.
I was confident that even when I could not be by my daughter’s side, Someone was with her the entire time.
Some of us have young children. Some of us have teenagers. And for some of us our children are all-ready grown and flown from the nest.
No matter where our children are we can trust that God is in control. He loves them. And He is always with them.
Even when we can’t be.
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